Raj, a member of my family that I have been close to for most of my life, has hit an important milestone in his life, parenthood.  Raj is almost 33 years old, and with wife Seema, is raising his first child. Raj met his wife, Seema, in Washington D.C., when they both were working there. They were playing each other in a local kickball game, and the rest is history. They ended up settling down in Philadelphia, as Raj was placed into residency there. A young couple, relatively new to the Philadelphia scene, have become more and more acclimated to the city as time has gone by. Living in the city has its perks, as Raj has known from his D.C. days. For example, Philadelphia is known for its food; therefore Raj is always interested in finding a fun, new restaurant to enjoy with friends. He also has his favorite staples, like Di Bruno Bros, the fancy Italian market next door which, without a doubt, we always get cheese from when I visit. Also, Raj’s neighborhood is close to some of the best retail stores and boutiques. All the stores nearby let you bring your dog in, which makes shopping an even more fun activity for Raj and Seema, because they can also bring Olivar, their pup in.

Though it always takes some time, and Raj is pretty busy, he was able to make friends in Philly relatively quickly. Through mutual friends, the hospital, and old college buds, Raj has been able to build a great life in an affordable metropolitan city. When describing the personality of Raj, I’d like to think back to high school. Raj was the president of his high school class, which should be enough said. He has always been extremely well-liked by the people around him. His friends would say it is because he is friendly, witty, and laid-back. His bosses and co-workers at the hospital would say he is hard-working, and makes his patients feel extremely comfortable. I would say the best part about him is that though he often has many reasons to be stressed, you would never know. He puts on a happy face, and makes the best of the situation and for that, new people that meet him have nothing but good things to say. Raj is also great at keeping relationships in tact that matter to him.  He has had the same best friend since high school, Mike, who he basically goes to for everything. They are constantly texting and exchanging emails about interesting articles, sports news, and the baby’s latest shenanigans.

Raj has built a great life for himself, but has some pain points too. Along with being a new father, he is also finishing his nephrology medical fellowship. His biggest current worry is how to balance his challenging work schedule with spending quality time with his newborn girl, Sonya. His current schedule does not make it so easy. He leaves the house at 5 a.m., before the baby wakes up, and then he is home “usually” by 6 p.m. That leaves Raj a short hour with Sonya before she goes to sleep at 7 p.m.  The pressure to be a good father, husband, and doctor can be challenging for Raj, but he continues to push himself to be the best he can. He has also become accustomed to the city life. His wife loves her job, and feels like she could build a solid foundation there, and they both enjoy their access to all that a big city has to offer. However, they are starting to realize that their apartment, though in a basically perfect location, is too small to raise a small child comfortably. Additionally, if they want to have more kids in the future, they will have to move to the suburbs. All is still unknown as Raj has to know where his job will take him. If Raj gets a job somewhere else, that could mean the city life would be over and his wife would have to find another job. On the other hand, Raj could be in a place that is better for a family in the long-run. Though he imagines he will stay in the Philadelphia metropolitan area, there is still uncertainty for the family.  

Being successful for Raj would mean to have it all. He wants to spend time with his wife and daughter. He wants to maintain relationships with his family and friends. He also values his time alone, when he digs into new music on Spotify, works outs, and catches up on sports. How on earth can he possibly fit all of this in and still find any time alone? Raj also had to work pretty hard to get where he is, and thus values his career too. Another big measure of success for Raj is to join a well-respected medical practice that allows him to do what loves, while being able to support and spend time with his growing family. The big obstacle is naturally the competitive nature of the medical industry. There is no certainty that he will find the perfect practice that provides a work-life balance, and is in a city where Seema can find a job she likes too. The last major and most obvious obstacle is time, how do you manage it all? Funny thing is, Raj is the type of guy that would never reflect these moments of worry that he, along with many other working parents, have. He never wants to put people out, but in reality, maybe they would be open to sharing their tips and tricks. Without a doubt, a way to have it all, be organized, and plan things out would be preferable, but how does one learn that?